Life’s Lessons Reveal Who We Become
Rosemary “Mamie” Adkins
What is the purpose of life if not for the love of our children and how we prepare them to become strong, positive role models for the next generations to come? Isn’t it our inherent responsibility to shape the hearts and minds of our little ones to ensure that the mark we leave on them will pass solid values onto their own children? Thankfully, most families achieve this nurturing lifestyle on a variety of acceptable levels, most in close healthy and loving relationships.
Regretfully, not all children get to wake up each morning to a cheerful family atmosphere. These are the hidden children whose suffering is endured in secret while, for all intents and purposes, the truth is lurking just behind the eyes and closed doors of their hearts. Though such families appear to the outside world to lead a normal existence, these are the children who lose their innocence through suffering neglect and abuse. They never learn to share their pain safely with the very people who might be in a position to help, and they are too afraid to reach out to strangers. Imagine the tiny child who has every right to expect love and affection from her parents but is deprived of it from early childhood. Such a child may never learn to smile naturally or trust the very people who are responsible for her welfare and who gave her life. Such a child wears the heartbreak in every fibre of her body, locked in so tightly that she fears she will never find the key to safety or happiness. We may all know such a child but rarely do we comprehend the depth of heartbreak and nature of the influence that such a child may bring to bear on her own future and her descendants. It is entirely the responsibility of such a child to find the right turns in life, if only by adopting role models to hold dear. Her dreams may be her only reality where she pulls those she loves into her own world. Sadly, many such children are not so fortunate and without intervention will never see the light of a healthy and wholesome existence.
Now, imagine the little girl who never experienced affection or any love whatsoever from her Mommy, yet witnessed it given to a younger sibling in full measure. This is a little girl who bore the daily physical and emotional welts inflicted by a sadistic Mother and patently ignored by a Daddy who loved her but lacked the backbone to intervene. This child would pray nightly, “Please God, why does my Mommy hate me so much? Please make her love me!” “Please God, let me come live with you.” She cries out in fear and pain each day as she tends to her wounds that resulted from yet another beating. These and so many more tragic examples are true accounts of one such child’s memoir that persisted from four to fifty-four.
Do you know a child suffering from such abuse?
Next I ask you: Is it possible for such a deprived individual to overcome the trauma of childhood abuse and move on to raise her children in a loving and responsible way? My answer is yes; however, the damaged life experience will never leave the forefront of the victim’s memory while specific events will remain buried until they are triggered to rear their ugly heads when least expected. As a victim of such a traumatic lifestyle, I am testimony that the ravages of abuse can be largely overcome. I emerged a strong and determined survivor with an iron will to help and teach others how I did it in the hope that it will assist them as well. Are there hangovers from the past? You bet! Have I overcome all of them? No way, but I consider it my life’s work to continue to learn and contribute to the welfare of abused children and adults in the best way that I can. Can parents give what they have never experienced themselves? In other words, can they teach what they don’t know? I believe that some can and some will, while acknowledging that others yet will never have the chance to find out. My prayers are with these perfect little ones, both here and in Heaven.
And so we come to the purpose of my message, and it is hope. Hope comes in many shapes and forms and often of a magnitude that can educate en masse. I now introduce you to a significant organization which has dedicated itself to educate and protect innocent children from every nature of abuse you can possibly conjure up. Dreamcatchers for Abused Children is that agency, and they will help no matter the nature of the abuse or the location. They are a non-profit agency and depend on private funding to reach out. Naturally, I support this agency financially and in spirit.
It wasn’t until I got involved with their program in a very small way, that I discovered the many facts surrounding this, what I call epidemic behavior, worldwide. Some of these facts will absolutely astonish you and perhaps rip at your emotions, because you may know someone who fits the description but for whatever personal reason have been reluctant or unable to intervene. We just don’t know enough about that secret life behind closed doors to spur us into action, but I urge you to reach out if you suspect a child is in trouble. If you would close your eyes for just a moment and imagine being beaten with whatever weapon is handy and having the flesh torn from your body while screaming the words “I promise I will be better,” then a picture emerges of how it is for so many victims. Most such criminals, and that is what abusers are, will never be prosecuted, but by helping the victims at the root of their tragedy, we inspire hope and immense potential for carrying a positive message forward to the next generations to come.
Dreamcatchers for Abused Children may be contacted at: http://www.dreamcatchersforabusedchildren.com.
A few thoughts to ponder as given to me from http://www.childhelpusa.org:
• 1 in every 3 girls will be sexually molested before the age of 18
• 1 in every 6 boys will be sexually molested before the age of 18
• Every 10 seconds, a child is raped or killed in the U.S.
• Today, up to 5 children will die from abuse or neglect
• 85% of the 1.2 – 1.5 million runaways are fleeing abuse at home
• In 13 seconds, another child will be abused in the U.S.
• ONLY 28% of the children identified as harmed by abuse are investigated
• Today 6 children will commit suicide
• Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death (ages 15-24)
• The typical child sex offender molests an average of 117 children– most of whom do not report the offense
Imagine the outcry if these statistics represented a disease, which was wiping out 5 children per day, victimizing millions, and whose by-products were disabilities and expanding violence. The good news is that many can find their way to a peaceful resolution if they NEVER GIVE UP, but if more people reach out to help, these new hands will be welcomed by Dreamcatchers and by the victims themselves.
Take my hand so that we can fight this thing called abuse together. It cycles in families, and if victims cannot find their way out, it can and most often does, keep on going.
Through life’s lessons, I have learned who I am. Through these lessons, I hope to share the roads I have walked so others won’t have to walk them alone.
Video Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5DFxtGKK8I
Reflections of Mamie-A Story of Survival
Rosemary “Mamie” Adkins
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